So now it is AG's time for everyone to get to know this sweet soon-to-be 18 month old. My AG was known as "BABY A" for 30weeks (well really less when you figure i found that there was even a baby B and baby C in there with her around 7 weeks). She was my first born of the triplets and the only one in the group who has their own "birth minute." When I was laying on the table awaiting their arrival i remember trying to explain to Mr. that he shouldn't be worried if he didn't hear the babies cry, because unlike him i had read all the multiples/what to expect when you are having a litter/preemie books. I knew that 30week baby's lungs were still in the early stages of development. i knew that there was a possibility that when the doctors yelled out the time of delivery it may not be followed by the sound of a crying baby. When the doctors yelled "baby A 12:47" and this sweet, meek, kitten like cry was heard i lost it on the table. This also was soon followed by one of the hardest things i ever had to witness (please know that i am aware that things could have been much worst and I am thankful they were not and i am also aware that there are more terrible things to witness than this but this is "my worst") as my baby was then handed directly to a nurse as she ran to another room to intubate. Here I am celebrating the joy of delivering my first daughter as i try to deal with the fact that i haven't even seen her yet all while my other child is being born (Luke)....talk about a rollarcoaster! This is why when I am out at the zoo or target with my kiddos and someone says "ohh you are brave"...me? here picking up lipstick, socks, toddler underwear, and diapers...brave? no! the day I delivered them and had to keep myself strong and in the moment so i could "enjoy" Luke's arrival as Addison left the operating room, now that is when I was brave.
God gave me a great gift that afternoon, when he gave me this sweet, gentle, easy-going, sometime dramatic, little girl. My AG as been our "easy baby" since day one. Mr. and I would look at her some evenings absolutely exhausted and in clothing that may or may not have been on our bodies for over 24hours, and wonder what would it have been like if she had been our first baby? We could of taken long car rides through the country while she slept soundly in the car, we could of gone out to dinner with a baby who laughed and smiled at everyone who crossed her path, heck at 9months old she probably could of stayed home by herself while nick and i enjoyed a night out together only for us to come home and find the dogs fed and the house clean (i promise this is a joke i do not promote leaving your baby at home by themselves but if you leave them alone with your brother-in-law you are pretty much doing the same thing...ha!). With all this being said our sweet Addison has a bit of a "mean streak" at times, like when she realized that these pearly whites things in her mouth are not only for enjoying a teething biscuit but also for leaving 4 perfect marks on her brother LC. Our little miss congeniality also was the first to realize that when you hit your brother LC (my poor LC) in the head with your child size metal pots and pans it make an interesting sound, a sound that she felt the need to master anytime her brother was playing nicely by himself. AG is my "mother hen" of the group. She returns toys nicely to her siblings when they are crying, she loves to help wash everyone's hair in the bath, and one of her favorite mommy and me times is when she sits next to me as we fold laundry together. She is her mommy's shadow and I love it. She LOVES books and could sit on anyone's lap for hours on end if they would continue reading to her. There are moments when I have caught her hugging her sister in the middle of playing and my heart swells with pride as i think to myself "that's my sweet daughter." My life in so many ways changed that Wednesday afternoon she was born and not only because she shared a birthday with her brother and sister but because now my heart was full with such admiration and love for this beautiful girl who is kinder than me on my best days and reminds me to hug my sisters more.
This is how I saw my baby for the first time. I thought she was beautiful!
One of the best days of my life, the day AG left the NICU
Happy Girl God gave me a great gift that afternoon, when he gave me this sweet, gentle, easy-going, sometime dramatic, little girl. My AG as been our "easy baby" since day one. Mr. and I would look at her some evenings absolutely exhausted and in clothing that may or may not have been on our bodies for over 24hours, and wonder what would it have been like if she had been our first baby? We could of taken long car rides through the country while she slept soundly in the car, we could of gone out to dinner with a baby who laughed and smiled at everyone who crossed her path, heck at 9months old she probably could of stayed home by herself while nick and i enjoyed a night out together only for us to come home and find the dogs fed and the house clean (i promise this is a joke i do not promote leaving your baby at home by themselves but if you leave them alone with your brother-in-law you are pretty much doing the same thing...ha!). With all this being said our sweet Addison has a bit of a "mean streak" at times, like when she realized that these pearly whites things in her mouth are not only for enjoying a teething biscuit but also for leaving 4 perfect marks on her brother LC. Our little miss congeniality also was the first to realize that when you hit your brother LC (my poor LC) in the head with your child size metal pots and pans it make an interesting sound, a sound that she felt the need to master anytime her brother was playing nicely by himself. AG is my "mother hen" of the group. She returns toys nicely to her siblings when they are crying, she loves to help wash everyone's hair in the bath, and one of her favorite mommy and me times is when she sits next to me as we fold laundry together. She is her mommy's shadow and I love it. She LOVES books and could sit on anyone's lap for hours on end if they would continue reading to her. There are moments when I have caught her hugging her sister in the middle of playing and my heart swells with pride as i think to myself "that's my sweet daughter." My life in so many ways changed that Wednesday afternoon she was born and not only because she shared a birthday with her brother and sister but because now my heart was full with such admiration and love for this beautiful girl who is kinder than me on my best days and reminds me to hug my sisters more.
This is how I saw my baby for the first time. I thought she was beautiful!
One of the best days of my life, the day AG left the NICU
AG with her triplets
You just "earned" a huge star in my book. For you to even stop to think of other people dealing with different kind of sorrows just showed what a kind heart you have. But like you said...to see her get wisked away to get intubated totally entitles you to have the feelings you have. You never want to see your child in pain..no matter how little or big it is in somebody's eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhat I've been through I always find or hear of someone who is worse of than I am.
Hope you got where I'm coming from...it's so hard to put it in words.
And can I just say, that it was a great write up. I totally feel like I know your gorgeous blue eyed girl. Much love!
aww thanks Bettina that means a lot to me that you understood what i was meaning when i said "it was My worst" but not really the worst. I even thought of you and another triplet family i know when i was writing that part because i can sympathize with you all though i will never fully understand the magitude that you went through, but because i had the moment of absolute fear my heartbreaks knowing that for some it is or was 100x worse. Bettina, you and your family are constantly in my prayers and I know you have a beautiful angel boy watching over you all! Like i said i cannot image the pain and loss you feel. I do have moments were i think how special you all are to have actually touched an angel's hand because that what Noah is.
DeleteYou almost made me choke on my lunch reading that trying to stop the tears. Haha. Love you.
ReplyDelete